Hollywood film production has been rife with faecal-minded regurgitations for as long as it has stood. One could even argue that it is the foundation on which the industry is based. But, it is only of late that the precipice can be said to be looming closer with each new release. With more sequels, prequels, remakes, reboots and re-releases haunting cinemas in a vast brigade of balderdash and grey, ask yourself – “when was the last time I saw an original work in the multiplex?” Well, you’re not about to either. Because, George Lucas, king of all childhood plundering nomads, will be clogging up cinemas all over again with the latest of his seedy, amoral dalliances with Star Wars. Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare your prostates for the Phantom Menace - 3D.

Though Star Wars is indisputably the property of George Lucas, to do with whatever he wishes, it is my firm believe that the rich culture which has fuelled their enduring success is owed a say in the matter. How many people really wish a retrofitted 3D Phantom Menace to be so? I am sure I would not be the first to point out that stereoscopy cannot remedy a terrible script. How many fans felt that their childhoods had been hoodwinked, usurped or even martyred in the name of the all-mighty dollar the first time this was released, let alone released all over again in a format which is, to say the least, dubious in intent?

The stoic irony is that with each ‘safe-bet’ the studios take, lulled into the delusion of a safe financial inglenook, the more the medium will fall to the flames of disrepute.  Perhaps, one day, cinema will indeed become an invention without a future, to quip the historic insouciance of the Lumiere brothers. When Star Wars 3D is released, the pair shall undoubtedly rise from their graves and scream in their best Ja Ja Binks voices “we tolds you so!”

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